It is unlikely that therapy will make matters worse. Research and statistics on infidelity indicates that receiving professional counseling after the discovery of an affair is the single best predictor of recovery. What therapy will do is make you and your partner more aware of what is occurring within your relationship. This awareness can sometimes be painful, but honestly sifting and sorting through issues is necessary for healing to occur. Until you understand what kinds of things contributed to the affair and how it has affected your relationship, how can you go about repairing it?
Your couples counselor will provide you and your partner with the safety and support needed to work through painful experiences. Your counselor can help you create boundaries and agreements for addressing the affair, while also helping build accountability and mutual trust. Your relationship can become healthier each time you and your partner avoid reacting with hostility and blame, and instead openly share your feelings and needs.
As you and your partner acquire tools to resolve conflicts and better understand each other’s needs, feelings and physical cues, you will be able to recreate the safe conditions of therapy for yourselves, in your home. In time, you will develop confidence that you have become experts on each other and on healing your relationship.